On Reaching The Edge of the World

Faithful Bloggers,

What is this? Two posts in one day? I decided to treat you all by doubling my production of posts. Also I feel a little guilty that I haven’t been keeping up. I feel like most of my blogs start this way so this will be the last time I apologize or address the small fact that I don’t update like I should. But, if you really consider it, not many people update as often as they’d like either. So personally, I feel like one of the famous internet bloggers who keeps his followers on the edge of their seats, waiting to see what will happen next.

I decided to elaborate more upon the boat party that was sponsored by AAU this past weekend. The actual party was something along the lines of a let down. If you can, picture a large pack of people all crowded on a boat that is far too small to contain partying college kids. The layout was ingenious and creative I must say. The middle of the boat was the dance floor and the DJ booth overlooked that with all its blinding lights and lasers. A table had been set up for people to dance upon which I personally thought was very foolish. That’s the last thing you need is drunk kids going to town on an unstable piece of wood whilst drifting down a river. Stairs led to an upper balcony area on both the bow and stern of the boat where one could sit at the picnic tables that had been set up. Below the upper deck was the bar but it was far too crowded and not worth visiting. The biggest problem that the boat presented (besides not being able to move at any point during the night due to the quantity of people) were the bathrooms. For some reason the brilliant designer of such a ship decided to only build one men’s bathroom and three women’s. At any point it wasn’t uncommon to see a line of 20 or more boys lined up to take a leak while maybe two or three girls waited their turn. You can imagine this lead to more creative ways in order to relieve ones self.

As for the actual dance it was entertaining but the trip went on for far too long. It was a four hour boat ride and about two hours into it most of us wanted to get off in order to go search for food. Living here in the Czech Republic we pretty much live from meal to meal. Upon finishing one meal you’re immediately discussing what you’re going to do for the next. Personally I’ve resorted to eating peanut butter sandwiches and EuroDogs (they’re essentially hot dogs but only a dollar). But, I digress. Eventually the boat returned to the harbor. Here began what I consider to be one of the most embarrassing and yet confounding actions that the human race does. I don’t know if it’s human nature or just stupidity, but why do people insist on being the first out of a vehicle, such as a plane or in this case, a boat, when no matter what you do, you’re going to exit it at some point. Everyone feels the need shove and push their way to the door only furthering the frustrations of others and in most cases, upsetting others who are most likely drunk. After this arduous process had reached its conclusion our group found themselves wondering how to get home.

Here in Prague the metro stops at 12:30 which, in my humble but right opinion, is far too early to shut down the only practical means of public transportation. Sure one could take the trams back to their residency but that’s long and complex. Yet, we found that we really had no other option unless we wanted to walk it. We actually began walking in hopes of recognizing what part of town we were in and I truly think we were getting close to discovering where when Tram 22 came screeching down the street. Tram 22 is a universal tram that pretty much takes us to our street. Sure it’s a long journey, but the tram driver knows where he’s going, we don’t. At least, that’s what we all had assumed.

We boarded the tram and sat down on the poorly cushioned chairs. There were a few sleepy passengers and the sultry voice that would come over the speakers announcing our current and next stop. Upon looking at the tram stop map we were sorry to see that our destination was around 18 stops away. We sat back, soaking in the dull fluorescent lights, waiting for the voice to chime our arrival at home. I hadn’t been really paying attention to what was passing by us outside except for when we passed by what usually would be our stop for school. Soon though, things outside began to fade away and were replaced by fields and scarecrow houses. I began to feel uneasy, not scared, just a tightness in the chest and a sinking in the stomach.

Soon Tram 22 came to a stop and we noticed that we were the last of its riders. The conductor exited his control room and said something to us in Czech. We didn’t need to ask him what he was saying, we all had the same feeling swelling inside us, defeat. We exited the tram and squinted to take in our surroundings. I have been to the edge of the world gentle blogger and it is a place no mortal should ever tread. What surrounded us was a dead field, or, at least it looked dead from the orange glow of the street lights. There was a cracked sidewalk that lead us one of two ways. To our left was a road that was lined with lamps, broken houses, and a heavy hush. To our right the road ducked down a hill into blackness and I knew our wanderings would not take us there. We had ended up at the turn around; the last place the trams stop before heading back into the city.

We scraped our way over to the nearest tram map and looked on in horror and disbelief as we were now 32 stops away from home. Some of us tried to explain to the tram driver our situation but it was to no avail and we soon saw the light fading from our hope. We had no choice but to walk, and walk we would do. The road we headed down was split by the tram tracks and the hallow houses flanked both sides of the side-walk. Occasionally a sighing field would take over a vacant lot. There were no people. There were no cars. At this point our group was a mixture of feelings that would probably suit a psychiatrist’s notepad better than this blog so I will save you the time. A few of us tried to joke and keep spirits high, but where can you find happiness in a place that joy is no longer welcome in?

Eventually we came upon a gas station and the knife that was starting to dull in our stomachs was now twisting again. We decided that, if need be, we would buy the station’s entire inventory of food. Yet, as it would be, we found something even more rewarding. As we turned the corner to enter the station we saw salvation resting just before us. Like the majestic Roman chariots of the days of old, a AAA Taxi Cab was parked next to the curb. I can’t remember if a tear was shed upon seeing the glorious yellow cab, but I wouldn’t have been surprised if there was. The driver called another cab in the area in order to pick the rest of us up and soon we were headed back towards civilization.

Sitting in the car I watched as the uninviting landscape drew back and let larger buildings take the lead. Upon reaching the apartment and soon my bed I had a feeling of joy and comfort overtake me until I was soundly asleep. As you can see gentle blogger, I have witnessed things that no one should have to witness. Tread lightly and may you never have to see the edge of the world.

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